can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
