wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
