I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize