Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
