worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
