im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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