Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
