Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
