I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
