Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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