O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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