well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
