You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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