I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
