it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
