your thong is hanging out like whoa
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize