I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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