so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
