I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
