I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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