So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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