so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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