I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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