Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
