She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
