I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
