Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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