The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
