You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
