You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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