and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize