That's intense
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
