I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
