But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
