Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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