Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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