Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Duck Duck Cougar?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
