I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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