dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
