i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
