he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize