I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
