if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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