just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
