i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
