I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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