so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
