The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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