The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
