i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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