So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
