theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
