Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
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