I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
