peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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