i think my tv is drunk
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
