If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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