Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
