Can Purell be used as lube?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize