We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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