no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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