420 ftw
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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