do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
