We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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