Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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