and you said cock pushups were impossible
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
